Bad Poetry Page
FLEAS
I sit here typing sad and sore
And now must tell you about the war
That has taken many, many young lives
And now only the victor still survives
Silent and sober in a summer breeze
After the battle with a billion fleas
I don't think they all came in with the dogs
Hiding in manes and tails and paws
It was from mice (I'm sure of that!)
I doubt if they rode on the neighbors cat
But come they did and I could not forsee
The battle to be had with a billion fleas
They hopped in the carpet and sat on the chairs
They seemed to multiply every where
To think of them makes me itch like a leper
They moved into the kitchen like animate pepper
They seemed to be winning my house by degrees
So the battle was joined with a billion fleas
The doggies got baths, the cat got run over
The vet got my money and and a four leaf clover
He wished me good luck and then with no qualms
Handed me a sack that was filled with bombs
Then back to my house I went quick as you please
To nuke the damn hoards of a billion fleas
What chemical stew and combinate toxin
Gave the grim reaper charge of my Pandora's box
In an aerosol cloud they slowly stopped leaping
As into their market agents of death came a creaping
"Dum-dum-da-dum" played their last symphonies
The funeral march for the last billion fleas
Then vacuum the bodies and suck up the eggs
Powder the pets from thier tails to their heads
And try not think that it's likely or weird
That one son of a bitch might be hid in my beard
I just thought that I'd tell you as I sit at the keys
I am the killer of a billion fleas
(a mostly true story!)
love
alex
Wildflower
Darling, you to me, you're like a wildflower
You dance so freely
Swayin' in the sun
You to me, you're like a wildflower
I know you aren't a store bought one
Don't think this odd bizarre or crazy
But i think of you when i see Daisies
She loves me, yes? She loves me hot!
One petal at a time, Oh forget me not
(chorus)
I'm out of my Gourd-perhaps it's true
But the garden varieies just won't do
I'd rather one Strawflower in your goldilocks
Than a field of Gladiola and Holly hocks
(chorus)
Perhaps we could Columbine
I'd be your Sweetpea and you'd be mine
We'd hold each other like a Morning Glory vine
And spend our time drinkin' Dandilion wine
Oh that'd be fine
Honey I ain't lyin
Let me tell ya bout it one more time......
This floral affection will never Be-gon-ia
It's gonna blossom way past spring and summa
It's a Violet attraction and passionate bliss
I bet the proper Primroses are shocked by this
Would you be my Huckleberry bloomin' my way
Or Honeysuckle sayin' "come Heather" today
this pistol won't stae-man, no way to stop it
Till the Blue Bells of Scotland ring for Jack in the Pulpit
(chorus)
So let me say a thing before I-ris my case
I want your Sunflower face wearin' Queen Anne's Lace
A Goldenrod in your hand or a fairy ring
With Phlox of butterflies and birds that sing
It's a Snap dragon you through a Trillium rhymnes
But to Teasle you more would be a dis-astor-ous crime
Every Lilly has it's day
Every Poppy has to pop
And my Tulips are tired
So this has got to stop
(chorus)
Copyright 1997 Alex Bevan all rights reserved
Cheap Thrills
.....inspired by the Indians game of 10/5/97
Give me cheap thrills of the very best kind
Cheap thrills are not so hard to find
I don't need the rapture or a passion that kills
Just fill me up, fill me up with cheap thrills
I don't need French pastry... you can gimme a just donut
Sugar and grease will satisfy, won't it?
I'll need about a dozen and I'll need 'em with a glaze
I can scarf them in a moment in a sucrose feeding craze
Put me in the front seat, let me ride the rollercoaster
Pop me up and down like a bagel in a toaster
Slam me left and right, torque my gravity and speed
Take me to the limit, baby, give me what I need
Give me cheap thrills of the very best kind
Cheap thrills are not so hard to find
I don't need the rapture or a passion that kills
Just fill me up, fill me up with cheap thrills
Let me watch the floor show, let me spend my wages
On fast cars, fireworks and trips to Las Vegas
Get me to the action, take me in a hurry
Make it like a weekend in Branson, Missouri
Adrenaline! Adrenaline! Get me steamed and stokin'
Bug eyed, open wide, spittin' fire and smokin'
Livin' for the minute, arcin' through the moment
Pushin' past the limit really gits you, don't it?
Give me cheap thrills of the very best kind
Cheap thrills are not so hard to find
I don't need the rapture or a passion that kills
Just fill me up, fill me up with cheap thrills
Want to date a vestal virgin, got to surf a tidal wave
Have to crash through walls of flame
(just to show her that I'm brave)
Got to play a red guitar, play it way too loud and long
I got to make a couple million from the rights to this song
Give me cheap thrills of the very best kind
Cheap thrills are not so hard to find
I don't need the rapture or a passion that kills
Just fill me up, fill me up with cheap thrills
Copyright 1997 Alex Bevan all rights reserved
The Demon
I was driving home the other night
It was raining wet and cold
And I saw an old demon in my lights
Hitching at the side of the road
He was looking rough around the horns
His ears and tail were drooping
So I pulled on over to give him a lift
And see how he was doing
He told me a tale all filled with woe
Lonesome sad and meandering
We wasn't as big as he used to be
Or as strong or even forebearing
He spoke so simply while silver words
Dripped honey'd from his tongue
And oh how I listened and oh how how I heard
I and I believed each and every one
I took him home to have a meal
A drink and a quiet chat
It was then he asked to use the phone
To tell his friends where he was at
His friends came over to cheer him up
They were quite a jovial gang
And I must admit I got quite caught up
In the way they partied and sang
They all had brought their sleeping bags
As if to stay a while
And it was nearly dawn when I remembered
My old demon's denial
"Bout how he wished he could run my life
And I would live for him
An arrangement that suited his wanton taste
Fulfilling his every whim
So I invited them all to breakfast
At a nearby dining spot
And arouse at the end of the meal
Saying my wallet I had forgot
I nearly ran to my waiting car
And reved the motor twice
And spun the tires as I drove away
And left then to pay the price
I hope they tipped the waitress well
I hope they didn't mind
To be stuck with the check ,but what the heck
I just had to leave them behind
Cause a demon or two can pull you through
On a dark and depressing road
But remember never to take one home
Or invite one to your abode
For demons have ways to occupy
The time you once kept to yourself
If there's one by the road you just pass him by
Let him hitchhike with someone else